I’ve been GHOSTED. Not the kind where you knock on your
neighbor’s door and leave a paper ghost with a treat, either.
If you’re under thirty you’ll know what I’m
talking about.
Since most of my readers don’t fit that particular
demographic, I’ll explain.
Everything I know about this particular GHOSTING I
learned in passing while listening to talk radio. When it happened to me, I
confirmed the definition by checking Urban Dictionary. (Cuz that’s the kind of
researcher I am!)
The act of suddenly ceasing all communication
with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done
in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the
subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no
longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely
related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to
justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their
feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as
ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject
kindly stated how he/she feels.
Yep. I happened
to me. Only not with a date, but with my so-called editor. Here’s how it went
down (in brief.)
Sept. 5th
through 11th.
Email # 1 from
me: “Are you available?”
Email # 2 from
her: “Yes! You’re timings perfect, I just finished a project.”
Email # 3 from
me: “Fantastic. I’d like you to evaluate my manuscript with an option to edit
at a later date.”
Email # 4 from
her: “I can do that. It will cost $120.00 through Paypal or credit card.”
Email # 5 from her: “I have your payment and file.
Email # 6 from
her: “I’ve finished my evaluation. Thanks for letting me read. What specific
questions can I address?”
Email # 7 from me:
[A list of three questions about my manuscript.]
Sept. 12th
Email # 8 from
me: “I don’t believe I’ve received your evaluation. Did you send or still
working on it?”
Sept. 13th
Email # 9 from
me: “On pins and needles over here…” (Trying to be cool…)
Sept. 19th
Email # 10 from me:
“I want my money back. You failed to fulfill your end of the deal.” (Not in so
many words, but close.)
So here I am. It’s
September 21st and I’ve been GHOSTED bad. I have no idea what went wrong. Maybe
my three questions were too hard to answer. I don’t know. I have no idea.
So I did a little
internet creeping. (“Research”) And I found that her editor’s twitter account
has been very quiet. Not much activity since August. But her personal twitter
account is very active. Like she posts ten times a day. What’s up with that? I
thought maybe she’d been hit by a bus and couldn’t get to a computer to
communicate with her clients.
And since I’m
somewhat passive aggressive, I actually replied to one of her twitter posts.
(Hello. I’m out here in the world. Waiting for you to finish the work I paid
you for.)
And she LIKED it.
What’s up with that? Either she has an auto-like setting or she’s got no integrity
at all. What really frosts me is that she’s got a copy of my book. Legally she
can’t do anything with it because it’s my Intellectual Property, but still.
Urg!
Any who, I’ll be moving
on to the next starred name on my list. This
time I’m digging even deeper into that prospective editor's shit.
Wish me luck. AGAIN!
Until next time,
Be Good to
Yourself.
~Nadine
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