Wednesday, September 27, 2017

I've Been Ghosted

I’ve been GHOSTED. Not the kind where you knock on your neighbor’s door and leave a paper ghost with a treat, either. 

If you’re under thirty you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Since most of my readers don’t fit that particular demographic, I’ll explain. 

Everything I know about this particular GHOSTING I learned in passing while listening to talk radio. When it happened to me, I confirmed the definition by checking Urban Dictionary. (Cuz that’s the kind of researcher I am!)


So, here it is, according to Urban Dictionary.

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

Yep. I happened to me. Only not with a date, but with my so-called editor. Here’s how it went down (in brief.)

Sept. 5th through 11th.
Email # 1 from me: “Are you available?”
Email # 2 from her: “Yes! You’re timings perfect, I just finished a project.”
Email # 3 from me: “Fantastic. I’d like you to evaluate my manuscript with an option to edit at a later date.”
Email # 4 from her: “I can do that. It will cost $120.00 through Paypal or credit card.”
Email  # 5 from her: “I have your payment and file.
Email # 6 from her: “I’ve finished my evaluation. Thanks for letting me read. What specific questions can I address?”
Email # 7 from me: [A list of three questions about my manuscript.]

Sept. 12th
Email # 8 from me: “I don’t believe I’ve received your evaluation. Did you send or still working on it?”

Sept. 13th
Email # 9 from me: “On pins and needles over here…” (Trying to be cool…)

Sept. 19th
Email # 10 from me: “I want my money back. You failed to fulfill your end of the deal.” (Not in so many words, but close.)

So here I am. It’s September 21st and I’ve been GHOSTED bad. I have no idea what went wrong. Maybe my three questions were too hard to answer. I don’t know. I have no idea.




So I did a little internet creeping. (“Research”) And I found that her editor’s twitter account has been very quiet. Not much activity since August. But her personal twitter account is very active. Like she posts ten times a day. What’s up with that? I thought maybe she’d been hit by a bus and couldn’t get to a computer to communicate with her clients.




And since I’m somewhat passive aggressive, I actually replied to one of her twitter posts. (Hello. I’m out here in the world. Waiting for you to finish the work I paid you for.)

And she LIKED it. What’s up with that? Either she has an auto-like setting or she’s got no integrity at all. What really frosts me is that she’s got a copy of my book. Legally she can’t do anything with it because it’s my Intellectual Property, but still. Urg!

Any who, I’ll be moving on to the next starred name on my list.  This time I’m digging even deeper into that prospective editor's shit.

Wish me luck. AGAIN!

Until next time,

Be Good to Yourself.

~Nadine

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